After getting sucked into my computer screen
for hours at a time
I will occasionally
realize I have been pursing my lips.
Or rounding my shoulders,
furrowing my brows,
or, on rare occasion, smiling.
Sometimes my posture might make sense
given what I am actively engaged in – if thinking hard,
then furrowing my brow might make sense
as a physical expression
of an immediate inward reality.
Receiving a nasty email from a client might be just grounds
But other times, I wonder
whether something more raw – something deeper
might be exposing itself
to the outside world
via my countenance.
I wonder what happens when I become so entrenched
in the goings on of the cyber world
that I lose track of my physical circumstance.
I wonder what my face displays then.
What does my face look like when all the thoughts insulating skin from soul flow slowly
through my fingertips?
Does it start to mold itself onto the more permanent contours of my soul?
If it does, then does it leave me smiling, relievedly, because of my redeemed estate?
Or do I weep over my own shortcomings and disappointments?
Or what if, instead, I just giggle at the thought of my son’s dimples – or
smirk at one of my wife’s jokes?
What forces operate upon my most deeply running emotional climate?
What does it feel like down there, at the end of the day
where everything profound mixes together?
for my own sake
and for the sake of my family, and of others
that if and when the deepest and most permanent features of my soul express themselves physically
it results in a grin.